A Very Short Story

By 2020, British public opinion was fed up with America’s inability to make any progress in Afghanistan. The Prime Minister, recalling Strange and Norrell’s help in the Napoleonic Wars, called upon his Minister of Magic, Arthur Weasley. They decided to send the best wizard agent, Auror 007, to deal with Osama Bin Laden.

To preserve his incognito, MI6 issued him a passport in the name of Happy Rotter. He flew to Afghanistan, easily located Bin Laden using the Gugglemapf procedure, apparated into his tent, pointed the wand and uttered the dire formula: “CHEVRA KEDUSHA”, thus transforming him into an Orthodox Jew. A fate worse than death.

(written by a semi-semite)